The Ball of Light - Inception and bit of update

The concept of the ball of light originated from a conversation in the summer of 2009 with Rebecca Fetch when I was trying to describe love. After that moment we went off for about ten minutes and both felt the need to express something we had discovered. She began to describe three points of light with something connection them in a triangular fashion. Then I described a triangle with a fourth point. Creating the formation of two triangles with a common side.  We were both shocked to have this inspiration simultaneously. REALLY wild! 

After this moment i went off and for te next few days I started adding more and more points of light. This resulted in creating a curtain or immense never ending flat plane of connected lights. This was neat but not anything understandable for my concept of love. I wanted the points to be able to reference each other and be able to see each other. So I bent the flat pane in my head to where the most number of points were allowed to touch each other. This resulted in a sphere. At the time the best way I had to describe the picture in my head was a geodesic sphere. 

geodesic sphere

Since then I have discovered other polyhedrons that have more more fun names(and more visually stimulating) rhombicosidodecahedron for example. 

rhombicosidodecahedron

After this realization with Rebecca I was given the opportunity express what i wanted out of life by my two lovers at the time (Shoshannah and Rebecca). I took this a perfect opportunity to express my new found understanding of love. Resulting in a quite raw expression of this belief.  I am posting it wil no corrections knowing full well that the emotions going through my head at the time may not have produced a final product.

VERSION 1
Vision
I am a ball of light. I am surrounded by other balls of light. Each Ball of light can move through out the innumerable balls of light. Energy flows in all directions. All Balls of energy are improved by the affects of the Balls of energy that touches them. All Balls of light point toward the Center.

How to build:One ball of light  is a point.(one dimensional l ---or three dimensional)




Two balls of light is a line.(two dimensional)
Three balls of light is a triangle (two dimensional)
Adding the fourth ball creates the first third dimensional possibility (three dimensional)
Continue adding a Ball of light untill all points are connected by the whole structure
This structure in order to be stable will form a sphere - much like a geodesic Sphere
Each point in the sphere has light pointing not only to each ball of light next to them but also a light pointing directly to the center of the sphere
what happens once all points are connected - ( at that point the next stage of existence occurs )
i accept this might be the same process that can be accomplished by one person and if so then the theory still stands just to each aspect of our lives all pointing in the same direction
To be a ball of lightI accept the things I can not change I manifest the courage to change the things I canI allow the wisdom to know the difference
I am always giving What is given by others is more than enough to sustain me
I take only what is given 
I respond rather than react
I have sex with whomever I see pass through my filters
Those around me are always invited to do the things I do I focus on the things I do because they point toward the center of the sphere and those around me should do the same
When my limits have been reached I let others know and or I remove myself from the situation to gather my thoughts and return or not to the situation
I Assume the positive
I Look for the positive
Personal desire - but i think it applies across the sphereI have no need to orgasm. It distracts from the accomplishment of my desires
it is entriely possible that someone else has already worked on this and has solved it maybe that is the Toaists or the Buddist or some other religous focus if so then i would like to learn more about that culture/organization

I am a ball of light I can see my light shine on others the light that shines on others becomes apart of their lightThat light in turn shines on the people they know
I belong to everyone if I belong to one.
I see this as being not only a way to have a relationship with your loved ones but a way to look at life. The difficulty seems to come only when we do not know how to take the next step.  i can only suggest that when you come to a step you are unsure of taking to refer to those that you trust and ask their opinion even after receiving your new found information you need to apply that information to the situation and apply your own decision . mistakes will be made and persistence will pay off. 
there will be times of loneliness there will be time of uneasiness there will be times of separation
The goal is to become independent  from ALL influences and physical desires. not to be driven by hunger of food warmth touch sights sounds smells. If we are not to be driven by physical desires then what should we be driven to do and by what
i love all who i meet in my life. I love what is given to me by those who choose to give it.

AFTER all of that I admit i may be wrong in how i present this. i know i have a vision and i dont know how to reach it. i am willing to work with anyone on how to reach this goal. it is quite possible that this FIRST needs to be worked on by an individual before a second person can learn its direction.
YOGA
BREATHING
MEDITATION
this all sounds so hokey and transcendental tarot type out there thinking . it is by far the most out there thought i have ever had and feel amazed to have found two people that are willing to listen to my thoughts.  i know there is a LARGE part of me that has been craving the touch and caresses and sensual nature of the relationships i have been developing with you both Shoshannah and Rebecca theis past few days. I think if i am true to waht i am desiring this is actually stating that i am willing to remove the physical sexual nature of the relationships in order to determine if any of this is possibe.
I am confused on this VERY point .
SEX
I KNOW that the physical nature of personal relationships with people tends to desire more and more physical contact . i feel this contact is an attempt to feel less alone. I don't think it is possible to to feel less alone with another person. I think the feeling that we all feel when we are with another is their energy effecting our own. i think that when that energy goes away we feel as if something is missing that was once there. like grieving .we are no less alone than when they were there together.

Embracing the personal aloneness that one feels and becoming independent from needing the touch seems to be the key. TOUCH is my scariest of fears to confront. i will someday -i see it. i know i am strong enough but it scares me to be at a distance of others for fear i would not be able to communicate the mental touch to fill the desires of my physical void.
I think i have found myself with two amazingly driven people that attack issues with an amazing amount of analytical skill. i want to be able to provide what it is you need while not taking away from what i want.
i want to be near you both.
i do not need to be near you.
i love you both thank you for allowing time to begin work in this direction
Gregory

This was an superb moment - that has created a direction in my life towards reaching in the direction of what I desire. I see myself capable of loving all that stand before me. Time is the hardest of all  to overcome. The more time you allow yourself around another individual the more chance there is to appreciate that persons traits for what they are. Over time seeing that the way they are is quite beautiful. 

I have no answers. I do feel driven to build The Ball of Light for Burning Man 2012. I know it has/will introduce/ed new people and concepts to me and those that interact/contribute with/to the project. Part of me is in such a hurry to get this done and displayed to allow myself to crawl back into my head of world/universal exploration/understanding. Another part understands this is a personal challenge to work on a project that I truly believe in and work towards whatever result it produces knowing that the end is not the goal but the process is what will share the most. 

The Ball of Light does not have to be the projected 100' tall structure to satisfy my goals. It was just a number picked out of a hat that was so large that it became my moon to shoot for. 

Aim for the moon if you miss you will still be amongst the stars.  

Always aim for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.

Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.

I am attempting to scale the structure to a universal sizing mechanism such as the golden ratio.

The Golden Ratio or how the universe grows itself.

Originally I desired The Ball of Light to be a collaborative project. So far the project has been more project management and slow progress then my understanding of collaboration. ZomeTool in Denver has been the greatest forward momentum with the possibility of providing the support structures for the spherical polyhedron. 

The most i am expecting from posting information on this blog is to :

1. Get myself better at documenting my thoughts 
2. Record the process as best as I see it (remembering the process is the goal)
3. Allow others to realize that I have no idea what I am doing and share that the more you focus on an idea the more likelihood it will happen - so chose that idea well but be ready to adapt.

I have quite a bit of this project in my head and hope to get more of it on to paper over the next year or so.

Life Spiral

Version 1.0
The Life Spiral is what I want to happen upon my death though It will have to be worked on during my life to be able to happen when I die.

1. I will be cremated
2. My ashes will be divided evenly amongst several hand held containers from the Life Spiral ( 3"x8"x1")
3. Each container will be given to an individual (60% to people I have met and 40% to people I have not met) chosen at random (i will assume right now from my contacts in Gmail since that is where I am writing it
4. Each person that receives a container will also receive a delivery destination and a plane ticket
5. The delivery destination will be one of the following: 

• Pacaya Volcano in Guatemala ( possibly another active volcano at the time) 
• General Sherman tree in the redwood forest in California
• Tāne Mahuta tree in the Kauri Forrest of NZ
• City Museum in St.Louis,Mo
• Edward James, Las Pozas, Xilitla, Mexico
• The clothes dying area of Fez,Morocco
• Vondel Park, Amsterdam, Netherlands
• Peak of Crested Butte,Co
• At the foot of Blue Glacier at Mount Olympus on the Hoh trail in Washington state
• more to come

6. The plane ticket will be to a separate destination that is no closer than 500 miles of the delivery destination

7. Once the recipient arrives to the delivery destination open and release the contents of the container full of ashes

8. Return to location of the Life Spiral holder

9. Place container on top of Life Spiral holder 

(example of Life Spiral version 1.0)

10. With each successive container placed on it have it offset so the spiral will continue upwards

Refusal of the Life Spiral or ticket is not an option. The recipient decides not to deliver the ashes that is up to them. If the recipientdecides not to use the ticket that is up to them.

Letter to My Sister

Gregory here

Ok so I have not been anywhere near as good about posting as I would have liked this year.  I just seem to not like writing.  I hope in time to get better at getting my thoughts down.  I have been told I am lazy and impatient (I need a more positive way to say this by the way.)  It is difficult to write when your brain jumps from thought to thought so quickly.  This post was inspired by a note from my sister who asked about my trip and how it was going.  The thoughts seemed to flow forth - I can only assume that is because I was telling someone who really wanted to know and also it was someone I really wanted to tell.  I am not sure what that means but enjoyed the results.  I hope you do too.

Kim: Greg, how are you/where are you? can't believe you're 3/4 into your journey!

Gregory: As for the trip, I am almost overwhelmed with the desire to see and experience more.  CouchSurfing seems to provide the best experiences.  And extremely similar to GlobeAware, in the opportunities to be part of peoples lives and get to know people from the area.

I have always been fascinated by the pattern of roots and trees.

And now, I am starting to see the natural patterns in the growing natural world (lightening, water, even in fire in Costa Rica still looking for wind) and I am desiring to see the way that same natural pattern applies to humans.  I believe this is what Uncle Robert does - applying behaviors to data and relating that to bell curves looking for patterns and especially things that fall out of that pattern.  This Pattern is what I see existence to be.

I have not done as much studying as you, more importantly I have not retained what I have read.  I have seen a difference in what I feel is expressed.  The Yin and Yang/Positive and Negative/Good and Bad.  I do not see any of these as truth, there is only the Creative and Receptive.

It is all things.  So many people get lost in trying to prove whether or not we are alone in the universe. Just as the small part is a representation of the whole in so many growing things so are we to the universe.  We are not alone we are just a finger or a sensual receptor of the universe.  The whole is just so big we feel disconnected from it(if we could see the feet and the hands at the same time maybe).  I think the social sites, like MySpace and FaceBook, are evolving to fill in the separateness.  To attempt to feel more connected and aware of what is going on in the world.  To try and give us all a better chance at knowing what is going on so we can be driven to take part - to contribute - to effect the whole.  GlobeAware is definitely one of those programs.  A chance for people to get out of the house, out of their normal work/sleep/eat pattern and to have a new cultural experience. To share a another way of looking at life and in turn appreciate the life they have already.

I wish I had the knowledge retention you seem to possess.  Have you come across another male that has the same level of knowledge retention as you do?

Rebecca and several other woman that I have dated have had exceptional knowledge retention.  It is very possible I have not gotten to know as many males as females.  The minutia in knowing themselves seems greater in women.  A few males I know seem to be able to call upon knowledge from many different sources internal and external.  I can only assume this stems from so many males focusing on doing rather than feeling ( to provide in order to be loved).  I know I come across some extremely amazing moments and knowledge kernels that seem to inspire a sense of wonder and knowing but I seem to lack the ability to be able to hold on to it and apply that to other parts of my life.

I can not tell you how much I have loved this trip.  The largest and most important aspect being the removal of myself from all influential people and places in my life and allow myself to have my time.  I am realizing more and more the things that make me happy and the things that keep me driven.  I may not have a house, I may not have a wife or a child and maybe someday, I will.  But I am not going to try and plan these things out.  I work towards the things I need and want everyday.

Over the past several years I have pulled further away from being tolerant of listening to the present state of world affairs.  Part of this has been my personal test to see if it takes an active ability to stay connected in todays connected society.  Part of this is my own dislike of the time required to stay involved as it takes so much time from the things I really want to do, to actually experience life not just read about it.  I know that each one of us has to pay attention to our needs and realize if our desires are too much.

My woodworking instructor told me the way to be happy seems to be
To Make Something
To Cook Something
To Grow Something

Also, just the other day on a TED talk, (happy planet index) I learned of another way to work towards happiness.  I really like this one.  I am thinking about putting this on a serving bowl to be used at the dinner table.  And in this same vein, I am also considering using it as a fund raiser, which at a certain donation level you receive a hand painted pottery bowl with these happiness principles.  It would certainly support the first step...
1. Connect - to those you love and love you
2. Be Active - get out of the house
3. Take notice - of yourself and what is going on around you
4. Keep Learning - stay curious
5. Give - give back in a way you can to those around you

In short, this trip has changed the way I look at life.  I do not know where my life will lead but I know now that whatever happens is the right thing to happen.  There is no coincidence - only serendipity.

I seem to feel better about myself when I am able to get my thoughts written/typed down.  It allows for the connection/s to grow with myself and those who read my words.  Which would be step number one on this last method of pursuing happiness.

Love,
your Brother


*****
SO a touch scatter brained but it is on paper - or screen
On another wonderful side note this is a TED Talk that we seem to discuss again and again on this trip.
The Riddle of Experience Vs. Memory

Test

Checking to see how this shows up. Looking for a way to get more thoughts and ideas in one place...other than my book of ideas.